1. At the end of the day, do you pick up all your kiddos stuff? Dishes? Evil Knievel action figures? Undies? Junk in the living room? If so, I think it’s awesome that you are getting her accustomed to having an expensive personal servant when she becomes a young adult.

2. When your kiddos ask to go see The Avengers (which is awesome btw…), when they want the new KD’s or when they have to have the new Dora backpack…do you jump to it and make it happen ASAP? If so, you’re teaching him that the world owes him everything he wants without any work or effort on his part.

3. Do you let your kids disregard adults and give wimpy hand shakes. If so, your teaching them a habit of dishonor that will plague them for the rest of their lives.

4. Have you exposed your kids to Snooki and Jersey Shore? Do you STILL have the Victoria Secret catalog delivered to your home? (WAKE UP!) Do you joke with your sons about T & A? (dads, you know who you are). If so, you very well may be preparing them for a lifelong addiction to porn.

5. If you and your spouse have a throw down…do you bad mouth, dishonor and tear down your spouse in front of your son? If so, your teaching them destructive patterns they will carry into their marriage.

6. Do you encourage (hm, hm…force) your kids to play basketball, football, chess, piano, join the yearbook staff, start a band, launch a business, make straight A’s and have a boyfriend!!?! If so, you’re probably trying to make up for all your failures and inadequacies!! You’re also teaching your son to be an overachiever and a people pleaser.

7. FORCE your kids to behave like nice little Christian kids and the result is fake little Christian kids that will one day run away from Jesus!!

8. Constantly interfere in your childs’ play dates, then you will constantly interfere in your kids’ clothing choice, then you will constantly interfere in your kids’ dating life, then you will constantly interfere in your kids’ college choice only to find out that you no longer have a kid to interfere with!

9. Do you give your kids the silent treatment when you disapprove of their behavior? If so…STOP IT! That’s child abuse! Get help now.

1o. When your son is reprimanded (by a teacher, activity leader, neighbor or law enforcement officer), do you immediately assume that they are picking on your child? This teaches lack of respect, the ability to politely defend oneself, and a warped sense of prejudice leading to the feeling that “everyone is against me.”

~ ~ ~
I get Sprad’s email daily and am often tremendously blessed. Today I felt that it was simply worth passing along into our community and inspiring you to read his daily encouragement for parents. He’s raw…but I love it. Thanks Chris!

~ Pastor Bruce

Again…I can’t help myself! I’m grateful for FRIGHTENING videos like the one above from Legend Josh McDowell

I must say that the irony of his efforts just one month after 50 Shades of Grey took the world by storm (and best seller list) is no surprise. The issue addressed in this video and in MOST homes is PANDEMIC

I would like to inspire each family to take an INVENTORY and truly consider what our homes are DOING to thwart the influence of pornography under our own roof! Truly the video of each character is bound to penetrate your heart regarding the specific family make up in your home. I’ll keep my words to a minimum and ask YOU to post your thoughts and actions to be taken!

~ Pastor Bruce

Ashley Judd has been one of my favorites since Simon Birch (1998)…and is still on my top 20 list of dvd’s to be stranded on a desert island with.  I’ve used for teaching purposes often over the past decade.  But now I am even more of a fan of Judd.  Please use the link to read her words regarding body image and self esteem.  Honestly I think it may be worth reading alongside of your student in order to discuss specifically the questions she addresses and how as Christ following families we address our culture.  Be encouraged by the words of Scripture…

I Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

~ Pastor Bruce

Probably going to steal this illustration … but wanted to let one of my favorites share it directly and encourage you toward faith at home and the baby steps that are necessary for TRANSFORMATION both individually, as a family, and as the Body of Christ. Listen to the last 20 seconds carefully and be encouraged!

~ Pastor Bruce

Another dad is in the news for “going public” to address an issue with his child…

One day during spring break, he took Michael, his 7th grader, out to the corner of a busy intersection wearing a sandwich board sign.

The issue was the son’s poor grades. Michael brought home three F’s, and his teachers reported that he’s a class clown. This is how his father decided to “send a message.”

The front of the sign read, “Hey, I want to be a class clown. Is it wrong?” Then, on the back: “I’m in the 7th grade and got 3 F’s. Blow your horn if there’s something wrong with that.” From the video it appears he got plenty of honks.

See the video …. (Note: the title on the video is not mine.)

Maybe you’re like me… You empathize with this dad’s concern that his child could be come a “statistic”; you’ve probably shared his desire to do something decisive that will get his child’s attention. I do affirm him for taking action. Too many children today aren’t held accountable for their behavior, and many of them don’t have involved fathers or father figures.

You can never know for sure, case by case … but I would expect actions like this to have some negative long-term effects, whether in the child’s life or the trust he feels toward his dad.

I believe there are positive actions we can take in these situations. We can teach our children powerful life lessons without resorting to public embarrassment. There are important principles to keep in mind when we’re correcting our children and seeking to shape their behavior.

1. Don’t make it about you. I know many dads struggle in this area, including me. When a situation comes up with our kids, sometimes our default responses aren’t healthy. We might be more concerned about getting some peace and quiet, putting the child in his place, or maybe even asserting our own right to be “in charge.”

But those things are more about what we feel than what is best for our children. The goal is for our children to view us as teammates or cheerleaders on the road of life, not adversaries. Some have even described healthy correction as rescuing our children from the danger that comes with a life of disrespect and disobedience.

2. Do use consequences to teach your child. Sometimes he won’t learn unless he loses a privilege or his life gets much harder for a day, a week, or longer in some cases. Consequences get his attention and can have powerful results. They also prepare him for the real world, where irresponsibility and disrespect will cost him in very real ways.

At a young age, your child needs to know that you mean what you say. If he gripes and complains, that’s when you know it’s working! Just make sure the responsibility rests squarely on his shoulders to fix the situation; that increases the chances that he’ll learn something.

3. Don’t embarrass or humiliate—even as a last resort. It’s okay to show some emotions; often it’s good for a child to see that you’re disappointed, sad or even angry because of what he has done. Just make sure those emotions don’t lead you to go too far. It may seem contrary to what seems natural, but the best approach with a behavior issue is to be objective and calm—giving your child real-life consequences while expressing confidence that he or she will do better next time.

A child who has messed up should feel remorse and sadness, but those negatives should quickly lead to positive motivation. If our actions as a father shame or humiliate him, his lasting memory from the event will likely be more focused on about the intense emotions than any lessons he can use in the future.

4. Do stay positive. Keep your ultimate, big-picture goal in mind: to help your child learn and grow from mistakes. Everything you do should be about that.

Positive discipline is done out of love and leads to hope. It’s an expression of nurturance, not just correction—and that makes sense, since both have the same goal of helping our children become confident, well-adjusted people. Even in correction and discipline, our children should come away from the experience with a clear impression that “Dad loves me.” “He’s doing this because he wants the best for me.”

Discipline is a big topic, and this is only a brief outline. What other ideas or tips are useful for you in tough situations with your kids?

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Parents PLEASE take the time to watch the 8 minutes above. It is the “rest of the story” following the viral youtube/facebook post of the father who “responded” to his daughter’s facebook rant and concluded with shooting 9 rounds into her laptop. There are a handful of themes in this clip: responsibility, forgiveness, discipline, and parenting to name a few. I’ll refrain from a diatribe on this post above and simply inspire moms and dads to watch together and discuss together and THEN draw in your student to watch and discuss together. I believe the around the table discussion will be RICH tonight if you take the time to be a student of this case study from last month.

Triple dog dare you to post a comment and share your thoughts.

~ Pastor Bruce

Seriously I fell in love with this picture when I saw it. Perhaps it reminds me of my daughter. Maybe because it appears so innocent. But then I got to thinking… when does technology rob our children of their innocence and start violating our values? Granted this is NOT new. We all know that Al Gore “invented the internet”…just joking! But with the amount of internet devices in our homes today I’d like us to take an “inventory” by thoughtfully asking ourselves these questions and then perhaps reflect as a FAMILY how ya’ll are to proceed. Here goes:

1. How many devices resource the internet in your home (desk tops, phones, tablets, etc)?

2. Are they available during the minutes your family is together…lets say eating a meal?

3. Are the bedrooms void of the internet?
Best premarital advise I received was get the TV out of the bedroom before marriage. Now I ADD get ESPN & Google out of the bedroom–the Master and now the kids rooms too!

4. Parents, have you just read that pornography is readily available on the internet or are you completely AWARE that your elementary student is ONE CLICK AWAY from having their innocence altered?

5. As parents are you doing EVERYTHING possible to filter the web content to protect the minds and hearts of your children–regardless of their ages!

6. Do you “really” have your childrens’ passwords to facebook and their phones?

7. Are you faithful at “peering” into these portholes of your kids’ lives?

8. Could your family survive a technology FAST of one day each week? Could that day “be” a Saturday or Sunday?

9. Could your family do a vacation without technology…music, video, internet, texts?

Obviously I could go ON!

I admit to being a bit old school…McEvoy’s don’t text and only have a desktop and one Ipad and one Ipod. So you could say we are “out of touch”…but I would argue it has helped my wife and I win home field advantage and supports our vision to raise spiritual champions.

Please consider swimming against the current and try reducing your addiction to technology in order to strengthen the ROOTS of your family by playing a game, taking a hike, teaching an old school card game, or simply making a fort if you have little ones or creating an experience/adventure with your adolescents…sign up for a race or compete in one of these crazy endurance experiences in the mud. Email me…I’m all in and would love to take a whole fleet of students and parents into a 5k gig.

~ Pastor Bruce

Just really quickly…
I’ve got a 9 year old daughter in 3rd grade. That is where the story starts. She spent three weeks doing “after school enrichment” after school in January. But after her first day of doing Zumba with 7 other NINE YEAR olds she had a host of questions at the dinner table. Now I’ll save you the details but the long and the short of this narrative is that eight nine year olds were being taught Zumba to the song I’m Sexy and I Know It. (actually the short of the narrative is that I confronted our fabulous school and principal and a immediate change and apology was issued!)

But once again I realized the importance of staying ENGAGED with the culture. Even the culture our much younger ones…less than adolescents are being exposed to.

The above ten minute clip is OUTSTANDING and worth watch with your spouse and then with your young person. I can’t get over the importance of healthy discussions over the HARD stuph with the young people living in our homes. I pray that you’d remain relentless at protecting Home Field Advantage and winning with Faith at Home.

~ Pastor Bruce

I want to first say that all in all I like Christmas card letters, especially the combination of pictures and letters. I like seeing kids grow up, hearing about new hobbies and adventures, and basic information that makes me feel closer to friends and re-connected to faraway friends.

Okay, that said, there are some other thoughts I have that do not exactly lift me into the Christmas spirit when I receive them. Here are three things that are sure to cause a reaction in me:

1. Letters that pretend that life is only good. It may have been a stellar year, with grades and job opportunities and vacations that could only have happened once a century, but this year happened to be it. I’m not saying we need to be negative, just more or less real. The year will come, trust me, when there seems to be nothing to write about but heartache and struggle. That has to be okay to share, but it needs to be done recognizing that in the midst of the darkness there are always rays of light… this is Christmas, after all.
2. Letters that presents a parent (usually the Dad) the chance to be clever at the kids’ expense. We get these every year, to varying degrees of intention and subtlety. Sure, we all can forgive the innocent gaff or mild tease easily enough. But there are those people, and most of the time its the same folks year after year, who cannot seem to avoid taking the Christmas letter to “joke” about their kids in a way that demeans, dismisses, or simply makes fun of them. Lay off, already. Life is tough enough for our kids. Even if the intent is to rebel against all those letters that makes each kid out to be All-State or the next Picasso, in the end they feel it, and it can’t help but sting. This is a great opportunity to honor them, and their trajectory. Bless, don’t curse, and let the world know how grateful and proud of them you are.
3. This is Christmas, so why is it so hard to remember that in our letters? The ones that are the toughest for me are those that have the token God/Christ accolades, but the rest of the letter is about kids, friends, fun, trips, money, wine, you name it. I have been especially struck this year by those letters from Christian leaders where, if the expected “Jesus is the reason for the season” paragraph was deleted, one would assume they were lawyers, sports agents, or Cubs fans.

You might be wondering where our example of the “appropriate” letter is. I don’t think I’ll share it with you… this is a blog. I’m just tossing out some ideas for you. (Besides, I’m pretty sure we have violated each of these pet peeves countless times over the years.)

~ re-”blogged” from Chap Clark

~ Pastor Bruce

Who is The Greatest Runner of All-time?
By Ryan | Published: September 14, 2011

This morning, while enjoying my breakfast, I was reading Luke and came across the passage telling the story of the disciples of Jesus getting in an argument about which one of them is the greatest. In response to their argument Jesus brings a child before them and tells them that the one who is least among them is great. I have found all throughout Jesus’ teachings our typical view of what greatness is completely flipped on what we typically think of as great. Jesus, in my opinion the greatest man to ever live, tells us to be great we must become a servant of all. Far from our typically definition of greatness.

As I was reading this morning I was thinking how this passage would be translated in a RV (Runners Version…what a cool read that would be). I know when I think of the greatest runners of all-time my thoughts immediately go to guys like Bernard Lagat, Haile Gebrselassie, Hicham El Guerrouj and others. But who would Jesus tell me is the greatest? Who would He pull in front of me and tell me I needed to be like in order to be the “greatest runner of all-time?”

I feel like I would be surprised by who Jesus would sit in front of me. I think I probably wouldn’t have read their name in Runners World or watched them win an Olympic medal on television. I think He might put an ultra runner in front of me who maybe has never run a race in his/her life but soaks in every joy-filled step of their day to day running. I have a feeling that He would pull someone out of the Chicago Marathon who trained very hard for months, transforming their out-of-shape body into one that can cover 26.2 miles even if it takes them 4, 5 or 6 hours to cross the finish line. Perhaps he would put one of the many runners who run for a cause or in memory of a lost one. Maybe He would put that person that only runs because they want to spend meaningful time with friends and family out on the road. Maybe he would put Bart Yasso in front of me who travels over the world to encourage runners often going out on the course where no other spectators are just to shout some encouragement there way. Whoever Jesus would put in front of me I am confident of this: that it would be the heart of that runner that God see’s as great and the ability they have to run with a heart full of love for God, self, and others, not the speed of their legs.

“He does not delight in the strength of the horse; He does not take pleasure in the legs of a man. The Lord favors those who fear Him, Those who wait for His lovingkindness.” Psalm 147:10-11